HONG KONG - Big Buddha Mountain

I couldn't leave the city without posting up some pictures from my day on Lantau Island - the second largest of the islands which makes up Hong Kong. It's perhaps an hour away from the city but has such a different atmosphere - take a walk through the peaks and you'd think you were hundreds of miles from civilisation.


That's the second biggest Buddha I've ever seen. And the bronzest.

The main tourist draw on Lantau is a bronze statue of the Buddha which is touted as: the biggest outdoor, seated, bronze Buddha in the world. Which means somewhere there's probably a bigger seated Buddha. Or a bronzer one. Or there's an aircraft hanger somewhere with some very devoted Buddhists in charge of the interior design. Whatever. It's still mighty impressve. It sits on a plateau high above the island next to the Po Min Monestary, which is the more beautiful of the landmarks. I was told later that the Monestary is, in fact, as much of a product of tourism as devotion: the monks of the original monestary (a few older buildings at the back of the complex) opened a vegetarian resteraunt to cater for Buddha visitors, which has paid for most of the larger buildings such as The Hall of Champions:


Hall of the Champions. Your vegetarian meal dollars as work.

I'm not quite sure how such enterprising sits with the teachings of Mr. Buddha but, hey, everyone should have a Hall of Champions to call their own.


Following the Wisdom Path you find all sorts of interesting things. These incredibly elaborate carvings are, I'm told, a visual representation of a core Buddhist chant. And their arranged around the symbol of infinity. That's something which looks like an 8 on its side for those of you who don't read as many occult mysteries as I do.

But its away from the peak and the coachloads of tourists that the real beauty of the place lies. Rather than take the bus back down to Tsung Chung and the metro, I wandered down a hiking path across Lantau Peak and down the back of the hills. Beautiful forests, stunning views and barely a person in sight. Those that you do see, ambling along in their pale blue robes, are the real monks who still live and meditate in these hills. Their tiny dwellings and, occassional monestaries set into the woods, are the only buildings you'll see on your way down.


Another of the Lantau monestaries. All of which boast exceptional gardens. It is a rather long walk to the shops... The figures on the left are, I assume, some form of scarecrows and not a bizarre Buddhist punishment ritual.

Eventually civilisation reminds you that it's there: as you cross out of the woods and onto the descent you can see the new Inernational Airport sprawled out over the headland, and the town of sixty floor tower blocks which has quickly grown to support its workers. The whole thing has been built by reclaiming land from the sea and then systematically flattening some of the hills nearest the coast, a process which will gradually make Lantau into another cityscape. Just across the water is a new convention and exhibiton complex, and somewhere around the other side of the island is where Hong Kong Disneyland is not yet drawing a crowd.

Soon even the footpath up the mountain may be rendered obsolete as a (ugh) cable car is about to open, taking folks from the town all the way up to the Buddha and his entrepreneurial monks. I'm not sure what that'll mean for his quieter soil tenders on the lower slopes of the mountain but my advice? Go pay them a visit before they start selling carrots by the roadside.

HONG KONG - Disneyland II: The Quirky Asian Sequel

Hong Kong - technological marvel and city of few USB ports. Two posts today, scroll down for a look at all things Hong Kong-y. Yes, they're both long ones but they have a lot of pretty pictures. And, as I always say, why give a mere splattering of words when you can successfully drown people in a sea of them... And I went to Hong Kong Disneyland which means I'm going to be talking Disney. You really think you can shut me up about Disney?


Would you ever guess you were on a Disney train?

Let's have a quick Disney history lesson here. Once upon a time, there was Disneyland. And the world was good. Then there was Walt Disney World. Which was like Disneyland, only a lot bigger because Disney didn't like having outside operators building too close to their propeties. Then came the eighties and the Japaneese electronics boom, and with it: Tokyo Disney (note the subtle name changes here: these will actually become important. No, really) And it was a roaring success with a rich Japaneese population who loved theme park rides. After that, new CEO and resident nutcase Michael Eisner decided Disney should expand its international empire. Along came EuroDisney to an apathetic French population who resented high prices and couldn't care less about theme park rides if they weren't allowed to drink a glass of wine between them. Some cost cutting, a new roller coaster, a flashy rebranding and plenty of wine later, Disneyland Paris finally started pulling in a profit. Disney decided to strike for a third time, and looked for a country with a massive population to be its next consumer base. India was discussed, as was mainland China, but in the end Hong Kong won out. And thus was born Hong Kong Disneyland. And, lo, it was very pretty.


Main Street USA. Hong Kong style. Note the subtle differences. Which are... err... Well, a lack of people for one thing.

The most interesting things to talk about in terms of Hong Kong Disneyland are what are not to be found within its walls on a pleasant March day. Those are: attractions, inflated prices and people.

The Mouse has obviously learnt its lessons from the Paris fiasco. Rather than plow money into a large American style park which can't possibly make a profit without inflated prices, Disney have invested in a much smaller propety, a couple of hotels and (most importantly) the room to expand once the coffers are filled. That means that Hong Kong Disneyland is not the place to go for your theme park thrills. There are only two (perhaps one) bona fide "E-ticket" attractions in the place, and both of them are imports from other sites. There's the perennial favourite Space Mountain and the choice for the new millennium, Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blasters. There are, of course, other rides, shows and the like. Dumbo, the Mad Hatter's Teacups and the carousel all rear their vomit-enducing heads. And there are some interesting shows we should talk about. But, in reality, you'll be getting through everything in the park within about three to four hours.


"Mommy, when I grow up I wanna dress as a starfish!"

Then there's the food. Which is both appetising and not even slightly overpriced. Actually, it's probably better value than a lot of eateries in the city. And you won't be finding any imported burgers and fried chicken here. (Well, okay, there are a few) Noodles, BBQ meats and dim sum are the order of the day.

So how does the Mouse expect to attract the billions from mainland China? Herein lies the genius of the place.


Adventure Land. Which, for the first time anywhere, has real mountains for a backdrop. There may not be anything to actually *do*, but looking around is just as impressive

You see, Hong Kong Disneyland is the most immacuately manicured, visually enticing theme park Disney has ever built. The site of the park itself is surrounded by grassy mountain slopes, and then every green space inside is impeccably planted and shrubbed. Not only that, it's got the biggest collection of characters wandering around of all the parks. Indeed, it has an attraction which is simply a big meeting spot where Mickey, Donald and the rest are guaranteed to be found. Along with an armada of Disney photographers, capturing moments with top of the range digital cameras providing instant print outs in the nearby Kodak shops. It's an astounding bit of design based on a stereotype but it seems to be paying off.

South east Asians, it turns out, really are avid photographers. And it seems that their 'dream come true' is a family oriented, spotlessly clean photo oppotunity. In other words: Hong Kong Disneyland is designed to be a glorious bit of window dressing with a few attractions thrown in for good measure. The western concept of a theme park (big attractions surrounded by window dressing) doesn't apply here. And it's interesting wandering around sampling the park from that perspective, as everyone else always seems to be elsewhere.


Parade time at Hong Kong Disneyland. Or, looking at it another way, the place is being attacked by a giant mouse!!

Ah yes, the people. Now early Disney visitor figures for the park have been pretty good. Indeed, there was an incident earlier this year when, on a traditional Chinese public holiday, floods of visiors from the mainland were deined entry to the park. Leading to some infamous 'passing children over the walls' madness. However, aside from these national holidays, the Chinese workforce tends not to get much in the way of leave from work. So I'd imagine the typical attendance is much like it was on the day when I visited. Which is to say: not a whole lotta people. By the end of the day the Space Mountain turnstile counter was reading around 6000. Which is a ridiculously small amount. Especially when some of us rode more than once. There have even been stories of confused visitors wandering in, looking around Main Street USA, photographing a few minor characters who bear a passing resemblance to Hello Kitty and then leaving, assuming they'd already 'experienced' the entire place. Theme park culture is a different beast here.


Cinderella's Castle. Like the one in LA, the Hong Kong varient is very, very tiny. Probably to keep it in scale with the tiny, tiny park which surrounds it.

The other thing to bear in mind about a Hong Kong (and, indeed, any Chinese) Disneyland is that Disney's Asian market is not actually that big outside of Japan. The characters are, of course, recognisable but the films themselves aren't so big. With that in mind, there's a lot of effort put in here to introduce some of the concepts of Disney which the rest of us are already familliar with. I'll explain as we go along.

So, to recap. Small park. Not many rides. But also, not many people. What's a typical visit to Hong Kong Disneyland like, then? Well, it's all very strange... Let's go ride... sorry, attraction... by attraction.

1) Space Mountain


The interior of Space Mountain. Or, as some of us now call it: Rollercoaster Mecca.

Opening minute at Disney is usually akin to the start of a major sporting event. Whilst the less well informed migth get distratced by the first pretty thing they see, the vast majority of the crowd are a group of truly dedicated animals surging at speed towards one or two particular spots in the park. This is why Space Mountain and Splash Mountain will seemingly have lines all day everyday anywhere in the world.

Except in Hong Kong.

In Hong Kong Disneyland the rules of junkie theme park addicts do not apply. Families stroll in and are immediatly accosted by groups of smiley Disney characters. In the other parks these suited guys stay well out of harms way until the rampage is over. In Hong Kong, though, they're ready and waiting at all the scenic spots from opening minute. And within minutes *they're* the ones with large lines forming. Whilst further down Main Street USA and into the park itself, emptiness abounds. You don't have to run to Space Mountain in Hong Kong. You don't even have to walk briskly. About thirty minutes after opening time, this was the scene at Disney's flagship attraction:


This is the queing area for Space Mountain. Empty. It shall remain like this all day.

So what's a boy to do when there's no waiting for his favourite ride? Why, go on it again, of course! Repeatedly in fact. Ten times, to be precise. It's a funny little paradox that, although only having one serious ride should make Hong Kong Disneyland ineligable to be called a thrillseekers paradise, the fact that said ride is shunned by almost all the locals means it's actually a nirvana for fanatics becausde you never have to wait for the thing. Hong Kong Disneyland makes rollercoaster junkies of the most unlikely of us. But it comes with a health warning: increased exposure to Space Mountain will damage your sanity, as these in-car photos will testify:


Look upon the sad varients of the Space Mountain junkie. The thrill seeker...


... the Penitent...


... the Surfer...


... the "I thought this was It's a Small World"...


... the "Get a bunch of Candaians together and all get on the same coaster to pull stupid expressions." Special thanks to the Canadians...


... and finally: the "time to go home."

Oh, and the other weird thing about Space Mountain Hong Kong style? No screaming. No shouting. Silence all the way through almost every time. Weird.

2) Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blasters

Just across the way from Space Mountain are the many wonders of Buzz Lightyear. Which means happy hours can be spent simply walking between the two. Since Buzz features the same bizarre lack of attention from all other visitors. This one is a little harder to fathom since, even if they aren't rollercoaster fans, the Hong Kong crowd sure are big computer gamers. There was more than one trigger happy granny getting into the spirit of the thing, I can assure you.


Buzz prepares recruits for their latest mission... Not that there are any. I was keeping a distance at this point, I wasn't sure if he'd forgotten certain indiscretions from last time I was on Disney propety.

Like Space Mountain, though, repeat exposure to Buzz comes with a health warning. You see: Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blasters is a designer drug for the 21st century. Here is an attraction which obsessive compulsives will take their hearts, their heads and their itchy trigger fingers. When you only get one shot at Buzz during your theme park stint, it doesn't really matter what score you get. You're there for the ride, the experience and the funky music. Twelve times through, however, and it's all about business. It's about learning exactly when to rotate your car to take you towards the biggest point bonuses. It's about learning exactly how many points you get for each type of target, and how many you get if you shoot the same one twenty times in quick succession. And it's about learning *exactly* where to shoot the super bonus 100000 target in the penultimate room, and cursing yourself when you miss it, itching for the ride to finish so you can go right back and make amends. It's dangerous. I would not recommend it.

And, of course, by the end of the day I had managed to amass a mighty score. Boo shucks to Hong Kong Disneyland for their faliure to equip Buzz with the same crazy 'action' cameras which made it such a kick in LA. (And, given the pre-eminance of photography elsewhere in the park it's a big oversight) Not that a thing like that would stop me from bragging, of course.


If your Buzz Lightyear score is bigger than this then you need to get help. And tell me, because then I have to go back to beat you.


My exemplary performance, however, meant that I was able to make amends with Buzz. The queue to meet him, incidentally, was twice as long as for his ride.

You may think that the universal shunning of Space Mountain and Buzz Lightyear means the Aisans dislike all rides. But you'd be wrong. There is one bona fide smash hit in Hong Kong Disneyland, which boasts a mighty *fifteen* minute wait at peak times. But what is this kracken, I hear you ask It's...

3) The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh


Hong Kong Disneyland's most popular attraction. No, really.

This is obviously where the park's emphasis on the very young becomes most noticable. Not that Mr. Pooh and friends are the exclusive domain of the very young, of course. But the genuine excitement that this ride eliceted which eluded Space Mountain was pretty special.

I have a feeling this one is in a couple of the other parks but can't remember having ridden it before. It's a track ride around some of the Disneyfied versions of A.A. Milne's stories (complete with authorial credit given. I wonder if that has something to do with the legal action the Milne estate took out against Disney a few years ago?) and comes compelte with simulated blustering during the blustery day, bouncing for Tigger's intro and even psychadelic dream sequences for the Honey Thief. Even more startling is that it's this ride, and not Buzz Lightyear which has an in ride camera. To capture those moments of, uh, relaxing ride terror. Like I said. It's all about those family photos...


Smiling for Winnie the Pooh. You gotta inject your own excitement into it, sometimes.

4) Mickey's Philimagic


Mickey's new show hosted in a Fantasyland style Opera House. It's all very sweet.

The one other bit of high technology on offer is one of those '4D' film things which Disney has become increasingly obsessed with since doing a Muppet one for it's Florida MGM Studios park. (By 4D I, of course, mean a 3D film with extra effects like water splashes and moving floors. And, in this one, even smells.) This is one of the best: a 3D musical tour through a bunch of different films, mostly the post Little Mermaid crowd. It serves as an interesting introduction to the films for the uninitiated, which is probably why it's here.

Marks deducted, however, for the simultaneous Cantonese translation which has the part of Minnie Mouse being played by a man. I can't vouch for the content but it must have been *really* confusing for the non English speakers.

5) The Golden Mickies and Legend of the Lion King

These two attractions are Disney's way of introducing its increasingly important Broadway musicals to Hong Kong. Both are cut down stage shows (about half an hour each) and feature some interesting concessions to local culture as well as, of course, the usual round of songs. Unlike in any other of the parks, there's no 'no photos/no videos' rules in either. They'd never be able to enforce it.


The Golden Mickies in their stylish theatre. It makes you feel important just being there.

The Golden Mickies is some sort of Oscars pastiche. I can't really be sure as the narration is done entirely in Cantonese (and, thankfully, they employed a female Minnie translator this time around) but the singing is in English. The general gist seems to be that it's a lot of musical numbers performed very close together allowing for an ever more elaborate set of costume changes. And everyone ends up in bikinis for a Lilo and Stitch / Little Mermaid medley. Less Oscars and more Miss World, really.


Scary giant elephants. That'll be the Lion King then.

The most interesting cultural fusion in the park is in the Legends of the Lion King which takes influences from the original film, the artistically more interesting Broadway show and with some Asian dressings and choreography for good measure (there are several moments where the performers start running madly around the stage for no reason, which is highly amusing to say the least. I later found out in the Hong Kong Museum that this is the traditional Chinese opera method for symbolising journeys. Should have guessed.)

It's entertaining in a bizarre sort of way. Where else would you have two men in African dress simulating lions, fighting with Chinese fighting sticks to the music of Elton John?

6) Jungle Cruise


It's a shame the elephant isn't a little more mobile. When you travel past him it looks like the poor fella may be drowning.

A mainstay everywhere in the world but particularly notable in Hong Kong for the sheer unadulterated enthusiasm of the narration. There are three different lines for the ride depending on which language you prefer to be screamed at in by your resident tour guide, who knows his or her script so well that all the translation howlers are performed with gusto. "We're in the headhunter village!", our guide screamed at the top of her voice, "Look out for unsuitable behavior!" Well, I didn't see any. Just a few nice natives wanting to be left alone from the tourists.


That final Disney mainstay: the fireworks. Only in Hong Kong you can always get to the viewing spot you want for them, because there's nobody else there to take it first.

A few fireworks later and it's all over. All in all, Hong Kong Disneyland is definetly a smaller sibiling to most of the other parks but it has a lot of charm going for it and will obviously grow in the next few years (the next round of attractions are, not surprisingly, geared around the kiddie friendly with the ever annoying It's a Small World going to put in an appearence. If you ask me, this is one park screaming out for a revival version of Mr Toad's Wild Ride Eventually I'm sure there will be more thrill rides once the park takes off with the international crowd.) And, perhaps most importantly, has made a much easier fit into the indigenous culture than its Paris cousin did. Remember I talked about the name? Disney has clearly sought to give Hong Kong a feeling of ownership with this resort: prefixing the Disneyland with the city name is just one way of showing it. Sure, it's all a bit more cutesy, high tech and Westernised than the rest of the China. But that's exactly what Hong Kong's relationship with the mainland is as well.


Me and the Mice.

Phew. In the words of Madonna: "I need to lay down."

HONG KONG - Crossing Victoria on the Golden Star

Hong Kong is the sort of city I like. Vast beyond all reason, sprawling over green hills and a harbour without overwhelming them but still being a place which makes you want to walk around it at all hours of the day and night. It's got a lot to do with the people. Hong Kong is a very touristy city: hotel prices are some of the highest in the world (although hostels are completey reasonable and actually a lot more upmarket than in most Western countries. For around eight pounds a night I'm basically sharing a flat with three other people, with living room, kitchen and scrupulous cleaning done every day. It also has the fabulous "security camera TV channel" where you can watch live feeds from the lobby and the lifts to your heart's content, seeing if any misenthropes are headed your way so you can put the chain on the door. It is also, sadly, compulsive viewing) but, assuming you stay away from the grotty parts of Kowloon where people desperatly try to sell you things, it's an unintrusive kind of business.

In Causeway Bay where I'm based Hong Kong's denizens, instead of hawking you things, always seem to be doing something interesting. Whether it's wandering to work with paper in one hand, iPod in the other and taling breahtlessly on a hands free mobile. Or in the local parks in their droves early in the morning doing their excercise routines. It's the best city in the world for pure people watching. And they're usually happy to take a few minutes out of their time to explain to you what they're doing (except the mad shouty phone people. But, then, when are they ever?)


Early morning excercises in Victora Park. There are at least ten sites around the park with the same thing going on, as well as countless indivduals from 8-80 going through their own routines.

There is, of course, plenty of stuff to see. My favourite spot is down by the harbour where Hong Kong hosts its answers to Hollywood boulevard: Avenue of the Stars. Despite sounding suspisously like a Troy Mclure film, it's really a long walkway filled with stars, handprints and signatures from some of the big names in local cinema. There's even a big bronze statue of Bruce Lee there for good measure.


John Woo's star. Sadly, no doves fly around it in slow motion.


Meanwhile, at the harbourside, trouble was brewing. Thankfully bronze Bruce Lee was there to stop it.

As I wandered around I was repeatedly accosted by groups of blue and yellow clad schoolchildren breathlessly asking me to help them with their surveys of Hong Kong. I later found one of the teachers who explained to me that they were all from the Mission Covenant Church Holm Glad Primary School, and that the survey was part of their English langauge teaching. And jolly good speakers most of these five year olds were (a few of them probably come from English speaking families, though, since Hong Kong is completley bi-lingual) Apparently, the teachers had been kept busy by trying to help communication with some of the German and French tourists whose English was shakier than the students. They all looked pretty exhausted. The kids were pretty happy, though.


Probably the tenth group of Holm Glad students I met this afternoon. Little sweethearts, every one of them.

The Hong Kong History Museum is also well worth your attention. With information ranging from prehistoric Hong Kong harbour (similar, without the skyskrapers) to British colonisation, Japaneese occupation and eventual return to Chinese rule. (For the unitiated, Hong Kong was the last piece of the British Empire to be returned in 1997 and has never had quotas on the import or export of currency. Hence why the city is a vast business centre and is bi-lingual.) It's all very happy and chirpy, very nice about British rule and scathing of the Japaneese occupation during World War II. It also has a comprehensive rundown of the impressive, but utterly confusing, traditions of Chinese Opera. Chinese society is one of those interesting ones where everything (from early morning tai-chi to those costumes) has a deeper, spiritual reason for it. Speaking of which, there's a big bronze Buddha to go and see somewhere nearby...


Chinese Opera costumes. Not shown: the vast amount of taboos which have to be circumnavigated before actually putting them on.

And finally mention must be made of the Star Ferries. A Hong Kong institution which have been running for some hundred years. For a miniscule fare (10p or so) you can take a rocky eight minute ride across Hong Kong's Victoria harbour. And you'll probably wonder if it's not just the instituon which has been there for a hundred years. The boats creak, they rock and there are tires on the sides instead of lifebelts. Well, I guess they might float...


The Star Ferry. It's what they mean when they call something 'classic.'

An awesome city, then. One of my favourites. Like New York, except they don't close the parks at night and actually pay to have them lit and policed so they can be frequented. Wandering around Victoria Park on my way to my hostel on my first night in a thick, warm mist felt like wandering around a peaceful bayou rather than going through one of the world's biggest cities. Not that I've ever been to a bayou, peaceful or otherwise...


Every night Hong Kong boasts one of the biggest light and laser shows in the world. It impresses us tourists. And also lets all the local skyskrapers play a game of "my lights are more impressive than yours" against each other.

SYDNEY - A Life in Plasticine

A riverting week's work at Sydney Fashion Exposed. Where the beautiful and the anorexic came to sell their latest wares and befuddle an unwitting industry with their confusing floor layout. As a result, small time retailers who sweat every day of their lives were sometimes just metres away from the corporate giants who rely on sweat shop labour for their existance.


Darling Harbour. Home of fashion victims and big buildings designed to look like ships. Uh huh.

Needless to say, reporting on this festival of egotism would have made for dull reading and, indeed, many a dull ten hour shift. Probably because these fashion folk were rather more difficult to please than any of the other fashion folk I have dealt with recently. Must be the presence of a catwalk which makes them all antsy. Thankfully, due to the foresight of our supervisors leaving white tak all over the computers, amusement was to be found in other ways:


I call this little sculpture: 'Fashion Victim.' It's very existensial.


Something for the folks in icy cold Britain. An ickle snowman. Notice how I made him off-white to reflect the often grey appearence of our national snow men. Fun fact: Britain has some of the dirtiest snow in the world.


This one goes out to Mrs. Russell in memory of great Fimo brides of the past. Sadly my camera thought it would be more interesting to focus on the wires in the background, instead. Philistine.


Gandalf the Grey.

Thanks to Info Salons Australia for allowing such diversions. And special thanks to my supervisor, Naomi, for helping to set up the camera angles because she was even more bored than I was. My last show is next week. Can't remember what it's called. C-Base, C-Section or something similar. Sounds like fun. Could get messy, though.

In other news, on the eve of the Commenwealth Games down the road in Melbourne, one great Australian record came to a crushing end when our hosue lost the local pub quiz for the first time in two months. The humble pub quiz is a very British type of institution. Lots of folks huddled together across bar tables taking the proceedings *very* seriously. I've only ever seen then in Britain, or íf overseas I've found that the most committed partcipants are always the Brits or ex-pats.

Sadly, having lost half our team in this week's series of moves (the perils of living in short term accommodation) our unparalleled knowledge of film quotes, opening lines to great novels and Greek mythology was sadly not enough to help us overcome a crushing ineptitude on Australian TV advertising. Not all things last forever. Which is a good note to end the Australian travel diary with, as I'll be in Hong Kong in less than a fortnight. No line-o-map this time because I didn't go anywhere. So, instead, test your brain cells with the picture round from last week's quiz night. Of course, you also have to work out what the questions were, as well. Answers on a postcard...


Ariel Sharon and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Together at last.

SYDNEY - Cooking Skippy

I don't usually do a news review type thing with this blog. However, there are a few bits of recent news which gave me warm fuzzy feelings. Firstly the news that the afformentionned Kylie exhibititon in Sydney has been a roaring success proving that there are plenty of other Kylie obsessed tourists in town longing for their squiz at those overalls and hotpants. Secondly, the news that 'historians' Michael Baigent and Richard Leigh are suing 'writer' Dan Brown claiming that his 'book' Da Vinci Code ripped off their 'history book' The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail published some twenty years ago. An hilarious turn of events seeing as how, for several years, Baigent and Leigh vehmently defended their incredibly long and silly bit of fiction as historical fact (it had, like, eight pages of photos in it and everything) but surely any success in this current injunction would rely on their book being classified as fiction. Since it's hardly libel to write an historical fiction book based on actual history, is it? Hell, every mystery writer in Britain would be locked up if that were the case (we can't resist flinging in lots of funny historical sidebars). Sadly, the third 'author' of The Holy Blood... Henry Lincoln isn't involved in this class action. A pity since Lincoln is my favourite of these three: not only having stood by his work and subsequent books on the subject, but even having gone so far as to actually invent and destroy historical evidence to try and support it. A real class act. Actually, I'm being unfair to Brown since his book is a fun read. If I could write something which captured peoples' interests only half as much as his, I'd be a happy bunny. Needless to say, I'm betting he'll come out of this one unscathed.


Sydney Harbour Bridge looking all bridgey and lovely. Sorry for the unimaginative photos recently, I haven't been feeling very inspired recently. Roll on Hong Kong...

Anyway, back to me. Last weekend I could be found back at Darling Harbour doing all sorts of interesting duties surrounding the bi-annual Gift Fair. An exhibition of truly mammoth proportions spanning thousands of square metres of floorspace where the great and the good from the world of gift retailing came to see what's big in, uh, gifts and place their orders for the winter season. Which meant a whole lot of keyrings floating around the place, let me tell you. It also meant a whole lot of folks trying to get themselves in to the place. Goodness knows why they were bothering: surely wandering around aisles and aisles of wholesale homeware is enough to drive you insane, not giddy with excitement? But, excited they were and many an ammusing moment was had looking at business cards from 'Joe's Plumbing' and the like and listening to the wonderfully lame excuses they were giving to try and connect themselves to the gift industry. Long, long days (six hours standing and scanning, another five sitting and typing) but the five day stint paid well over a month's rent and food costs. These crazy corporations.

Speaking of food: let's talk kangaroo curry. My latest culinary obsession thanks to the fact that kangaroo is both (A) Delicious and (B) Cheap. And before you all get over excited by the fact that I'm slaughtering Skippy, just remember that the kangaroo is regarded as something of a pest in this country. Bronwyn and Chris regaled me with many stories of the detrimental effect these hopping maniacs had on their parents' farm whilst we were trekking the New Zealand wildernerness. Coupled with the lengths they would go to exterminate the things afterwards. And a good thing too, since kangaroo is without a doubt the most gorgeous 'ethnic' food I've had so far on my travels. I heartily recommend it.

The other fun activity I'm developing (and which I'm going to patent to hope it takes off with the kids) is the fine art of wasting time without wasting money. My job hours are fairly irregular so I tend to work eleven hour days for a week on a trot and then do nothing for the same period. Current favourite activities for passing the time include the perennial book shop skulking (I think I've gotten through most of the film section in Dymocks. Heartily recommended is the nine hundred odd pages of Disney War, a book I wished had been written a couple of years back when I was writing academically on the Mouse), art gallery mouching (you too can pretend to be pretentious by spending inordinate amounts of time in front of the canvas of your choice) and the puzzle page in the free daily newspaper, mX. I'm not a big fan of Suduko yet (after the initial logic spurt they're all very samey) but Scrabblegrams are probably what's keeping me sane. Or maybe the opposite.

I really need to start travelling again...