AUCKLAND - City of Sales and Just Call me Susan

Seeing as it was filmed here in NZ, it seemed only fitting that once the Aussies had returned across their pond that I should go to go see The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. As usual, non-fans of my usual brand of rambling ignorance should ignore the next few paragraphs and head for the pretty photos and tales of daring do in Auckland.

(Usual spoiler warnings apply)

Well, this one was always going to be a hard sell for me. I have a fanatical devotion to this series of books and an almost obsessive devotion to the last filmed adaptations of Narnia on the BBC in the late eighties (only intensified, incidentally, by the very sniffy way all the tie in materials for this new film have shrugged them off) It's really rather difficult to accept any new kid on the block who's going to threaten some of your earliest childhood experiences of fantasy. I've always felt that this film would turn out okay, thanks to both good casting and the blessing of the C.S. Lewis estate. But I feared the magic would be gone, replaced with post-Lord of the Rings helicopter shots and war crys...

... And, sadly, this time I was pretty much right. As film making, it's fine. But as an adaptation of Narnia, it just doesn't work. And it's frustratingly easy to see why. The problem with Narnia is that it is not and never will be Middle Earth. Narnia isn't the swords and socery ruled realm under a shadow of impending doom that Middle Earth is. It's a quintissentally fairytale land in which refugees from Greek and Norse mythologies struggle under the inconvinence of a long winter and a despot ruler, and where stopping for tea every ten minutes is far more important than the sharpening of swords. Of course there *is* a war in The Lion... and I have no problem with a script adaptation which connects the dots between the war which Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy have escaped in wartime London and the one they stumble into fighting through the wardrobe. (Although I'm not quite sure of the historicism of them actually being asleep in bed when the Luftwaffe comes a-bombing.) But that doesn't mean that an adaptation of that story will fit into the structure of a war movie.

The problem for me with this whole film is that it's constantly rushing to get the real world out of the way and get to the fantasy sword swinging. We enter Narnia after only about ten minutes, and before Lucy has barely uttered a single word. What's the rush? There's a fatal misunderstanding (and this applies to most filmic adaptations of fantasy work) that all the important bits of fantasy stories happen within the fantasy worlds. And therefore the job of the film makers is to get us there as quickly as possible. Not so. Lucy's delight and lack of fear of both Narnia and Mr. Tummnus (more on him in a minute) only makes sense if you understand her desperate isolation in a large, scary house with two matter-of-fact elder siblings and bullying, imagination deficient Edmund. (Who, similarly, is underdeveloped before he steps through the wardrobe. He's not a bully, he's not even that annoying. If I were him I'd feel rightfully pissed off that everyone treats him like dirt) I don't like making the comparison (actually, that's a lie, I *do*) but the BBC did this much more thoughtfully.

But things don't improve that much when Lucy finally does step through the wardrobe. There's something badly, badly wrong with her first meeting with Mr. Tummnus. I was tempted to blame James McAvoy for being too young and too playful but, as his performance is vastly improved in every other scene of the film (and he has a fine trade in interesting facial hair), I'm going to have to assume it's director Andrew Adamson's furious editing which once again glosses over the tea drinking and sardine eating to get us to some CGI fire dancing.

All that said, Narnia does do many things right. Pretty much all the scripting is good and the dialogue, often, hilarious. "We're not heroes, we're from Finchley" is a line for the ages. James Cosmo is great as Father Christmas; and it's great to see that moment from the books actually work on film as it's never done before (kudos to the design team for getting away from that silly red outfit and going with a more earthy St. Nicholas ensemble) And then there's the presentation of evil. 2005 has been a fine year for the dour and depressing in Hollywood when even Spielberg made the incredibly nihlistic War of the Worlds Not surprisingly, Narnia does a fine job with its scares. Tilda Swinton is wonderful as the White Witch. A combination of Boadicea, a sex siren and Satan who is geunianly unsettiling but, yet, never less than majestic. I look back fondly on Barbara Kellerman's more pantomime take on the role back in the eighties, but realised watching this version how Jadis' seduction of Edmund desperatly needs to have an element of seduction. The massaging of his ego and the rivalry with his elder brother doesn't make a lot of sense otherwise. And I love the fact that Tilda Swinton in her full makeup and dress bears more than a passing resemblance to Cate Blanchett's Gladriel in Lord of the Rings. Also great is Michael Madsen as Maugrim. By far the best of the CGI characters and scarier than I'd ever imagined him. The extra scenes to buildup his antagonism to Peter and, therefore, prelude the boy's passage to becoming a man (since that's what's going on here) are fabulous.

And, yet, Maugrim's final confronatation with Peter is a complete cop out. Does he kill the wolf or does he just jump onto this sword? Why on Earth would any Narnian follow Peter's lead after such an abysmal display? In the book (and, yes, in the BBC adaptations) this duel is the traditional joust on the road to knighthood and the defining moment of Peter's character. He doesn't just wave his sword at the wolf, he *kills* it and therefore proves his chilvaric worth in a way Lewis would have approved. If we are going to have to accept Narnia as a war movie then it has to get those elements right. But time after time it trades human moments and genuine fear at what's coming for long, loving and lingering looks at swords being drawn and swung. I like, for example, the idea that Mr. Beaver might pull on some armour and bravely go to fight for a land he believes in. But I expect him to be at least slightly concerned about the prospect. I was also concerned about the truly horrible moment when eight year old Lucy throws a dagger at a bullseye for (we presume) the first time in her life and looks all pleased with herself. It was at that point that I realised I didn't know what this film was trying to tell me. And that's the heart of my problem with it: because I know the sorts of things Narnia has been telling me for the past couple of decades.

This Narnia's got all sorts of CGI whizzes and bangs but it's just not magical. It's got all sorts of great jokes and genuine laughs but it's not any *fun.* Our world may be a place with problems and the kids may have lives that need fixing, but I don't understand what those are. Instead I get stuck watching scene after scene of prosphetic wearing centaurs clearn their swords. Or, in a crucial moment when the White Witch has just finished a conference with Aslan and we're watching Edmund's reaction, I'm distracted because a CGI leopard walks across the back of shot. For no reason whatsoever. Narnia isn't a good example of world building. It doesn't earn any right for us to believe in it. It simply presents all the glitter and sparkle and expects us not only to believe but to actually care, love and embrace war as a glorious activity for children. And that sure as heck isn't what Lewis was getting at.

I haven't mentionned Aslan so far and, really, there's no need. Liam Neeson is fine but this too literal adaptation keeps Aslan on the sidelines the whole way along, even most of the time when he's on screen. Aslan should be *all over* this film. He should be the King, the Wizard, the Saviour, the loyal sidekick and the trusted friend all roled into one. Instead, he's just the general of an army.

All that said: I do like the look of the thing and all the acting from the kids. I'm interested in seeing how these actors will do with the challenges of Prince Caspian and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (which, truth be told, are both much better books than The Lion...) anyway.) I was particuarly struck with the film's treatment of Susan. Who's basically cast as the voice of wartime London throughout the journey through Narnia. Everyone else gets their moments of awe and wonder and gets taken into the fantasy. But Susan alone is always stuck on the edges, wondering what mother would do and why everyone seems so intent on throwing themselves into mortal peril after their family made such sacrifices to keep them out of it. She's this film's tragic figure, because nobody ever helps her to understand the fantasy (One of the reasons I dislike this film's Aslan is that he has all sorts of encouragement for everyone else but barely ever says a word to her) or help her to love Narnia in the way that everyone else does.

Now this may be some very clever foreshadowing to future events since Susan will become the one and only person to reject Narnia and choose to spend the rest of her life preoccupied with the many distractions, pitfalls and pleasures of our world. Or it may just be some sloppy writing. Nethertheless, it made a great impression on me. The last time I entered the filmic Narnia I was six years old and it was all wonder and magic. I was Peter in my new fantasy world. Now, at twenty four, I went back through the wardrobe hoping to find the same thing there, only to discover that the world had changed and that I was now Susan.


The faithful gathered around the clock at the Auckland Concert Hall waiting for the big moment...


... When the Sky Tower exploded. Well, not literally. But it was still very impressive.

Happy New Year, y'all! Auckland, City of Sails, did a pretty spectacular job of greeting 2006. Of course, New Zealand has to make the effort as it is the first place to see it in (and not Australia as the BBC reported. Boo shucks to you, Aussies!) Lots of fabulous bands, Maori chanting and opera singing in the square followed by fireworks. Saying any city is diverse is a horrible bit of cliche these days. So let me begin 2006 with a clunking great cliche: Auckland is an incredibly diverse city and all the better for it. Stay in the part of town I'm in and you'd be convinced you were anywhere. It's in the middle of Chinatown. Which means Chinese, Japanese and Korean siganage as far as the eye can see. Of course, New Zealand is a country of immigrants but it's still pretty spectacular to see multi-culturalism that (mostly) works.

Wandering down through the city and closer to the sea front and you're in more familliar ground for a fairly modern city. Lots of big, shiny buildings and the odd not-quite-so-pretty Sky Tower for the tourists (why does New Zealand have this continuing preoccupation of building tall things just for people to throw themselves off?) but generally just a beautiful bit of city building with constant nods to New Zealand's indigenous Maori.


Maori carving in the War Memorial Museum.

New Zealand clearly feels a great desire to atone for much of its colonial past and, I feel it does a much better job of it than many other nations (no names necessary) The very impressive Auckland Museum is built on ancient Maori land but is not referred to simply as a museum but also as a war memorial. The memorial has gradually been expanded to encompass the World Wars, Korea, and all the other conflicts in which New Zealandars have lost their lives. It's a bit of a sobering place at times, which is why the exciting Maori dancing on the ground floor is all the more welcome.

The other thing which needs mentionning about Auckland is how keen it is to sell things. One of the funny coincidences of a summer Christmas is you get your New Year and summer sales all at the same time. So everywhere (and, I mean, everywhere) is desperate to offload vacumn cleaners and widescreen plasma televisions. It's enough to make you want to escape to another national park somewhere. Beautiful city, but time to make a break for the South Island, methinks.


Bright and shiny Auckland viewed from Mt. Eden. Actually, that Sky Tower isn't quite as bad as I thought. Good for navigating, and casting really, really pointy shadows.